Archive for the ‘Self Help’ Category

Mindfulness and the Art of Choice – Karen H. Sherman Ph.D.

Author, Life Coach, BPD/Mental Health and Self Improvement Coach, A.J. Mahari,  host of The Psyche Whisperer Radio Show interviewed Dr. Karen Sherman, author of the book, “Mindfulness and The Art of Choice”, who  is a New York State licensed psychologist, has been in private practice for over 20 years on Monday June 6, 2011 at 7pm Eastern. Now, Dr. Sherman is taking her experience to the public, making her Art of Choice workshops and seminars available to groups and organizations rather than just to private clients. Additionally, she teaches individually designed adult education courses, catering to the specific interests and learning styles of the people who seek her expertise.

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Drawing on personal experience as well as academic training, she relates to a much broader arc of life situations than most. “For many years, my life was an emotional roller coaster,” Dr. Sherman says. “Growing up, I was exposed to horribly negative life situations, and as an . Speaking of her transition, Dr. Sherman recalls, “I realized that I no longer wanted my past to define who I was. That was a choice I could make, and I did. My past no longer haunts me; in fact, I am thankful for what I experienced since I have used each situation to help me to grow. It is from my journey that I know that you, too, can choose not merely to react to all the things that happen around you- whether they trigger something from your past or are things that are happening today- but to make powerful choices.” Dr. Sherman sees her role as a facilitator of those difficult choices. Her mission is to assist others in freeing themselves from their own past cycles of behavior, as she freed herself.

Most of us live in a basic state of mindlessness. When we live mindlessly it means we simply function. We exist rather than live – like we’re on “autopilot” and therefore not really conscious of what we are doing. We are not taking responsibility for our actions, reactions, or behaviors. Despite this gray state of existence, we’re surrounded by choices at every moment, each an opportunity for change, each an opportunity to live mindfully.

But we don’t take these opportunities. We are not free enough to make these choices nor are we trained in how to make them. Once we can make one choice, it leads to other choices. Choices indicate movement rather than stagnation. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not like any of the choices that are available; we resentfully say that there is no choice when what we mean is that we see no good choice. Many times, we have made a choice and don’t think about the fact that we have eliminated other possibilities.

Part of the Art of Choice is accepting the realities that exist in the moment. Even if we do nothing, it’s important to realize that choosing to do nothing is in itself a choice. Once we do that, we can move out of the mire in which we find ourselves, and even create future possibilities that didn’t previously exist.

Why would old emotional patterns prevent us from thinking clearly?

As children we only experience the world; we do not have the ability to analyze. So, if something doesn’t feel right, we remember the situation and the negative feelings. Later in life, if a situation arises that makes us feel the same or similar, our old feelings act like a filtering system and we react as if it is the same situation — never thinking it through. When emotions are aroused we’re biologically wired to respond for survival – so much so that emotions win out over rational thought.

When we see things similar to our old experiences, our subconscious minds tap into old emotions that aren’t accurate, or relevant to the situation at hand. This drains our energy and produces behavior that’s inappropriate and out of sync with the choices that we have rationally chosen to make for ourselves. If we don’t realize that we behave and function based on these emotional errors, misunderstandings compile and can get in the way of healthy relationships.

Understanding how our brains are wired is the first step to altering this unconscious behavior. Once we acknowledge that there are irrational forces at play in our minds, we can decide to make a change. By learning to observe ourselves and question our automatic reactions, there is a window of opportunity to make changes.

Changes can only take place if we are willing to make the necessary choices. In the Art of Choice series, Dr. Sherman guides her clients through the complexities of their own decision-making process. She walks us through the unconscious choices that have paved groundwork for our current behaviors, and through the decisions that we want to make for the future, in order to exact the changes that we want and deserve in our lives.


Fear, Anxiety, and Depression – Author Lucinda Basset has the “Solution”

A.J. Mahari, host of the Psyche Whisperer Radio Show, interviewed, Lucinda Bassett, Founder of The Midwest Center For Stress and Anxiety. Lucinda Bassett is a nationally acclaimed motivational speaker and best-selling author. Her latest book is, “The Solution – Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future.” Her life-changing techniques have been shared with a variety of major corporations such as AT&T, and McDonald’s, and professional associations such as LPGA and the AIDS Foundation, as well as many educational institutions. She has appeared on hundreds of national radio and television programs including Oprah, The View, Live with Regis and Kelly, and Robert Schuller’s Hour of Power. Bassett and her emotional wellness solutions have been featured in a variety of high-profile publications including Health, Family Circle, Cosmopolitan, and the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

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The Solution

Thanks to this new program by best-selling self-help author Lucinda Bassett, it’s possible to do a life-changing emotional makeover in only 21days. Her process-oriented approach to dealing with stress and anxiety covers everything from money to health to relationships. Bassett shows readers how to go from fearful to focused; how to alleviate insecurity and feel confident about the future; and how to transform depression and anxiety into hope, happiness, and peace of mind. She offers a positive action plan that turns every challenge into an opportunity, and even helps relieve stress-induced exhaustion and poor health.

So even if you can’t change what’s happening around you… you CAN change what’s happening inside of you, thanks to this empowering new solution.


Worry, Anxiety, Fear? Keep Calm and Carry On – Interview with Dr. Mark A. Reinecke, Ph.D.

Do you worry a lot? Do you find yourself experiencing increasing anxiety? Are you fearful? Do you have negative worry thoughts that create anxiety and fear in your life? Please join Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, on Monday October 25th, at 7pm EST, for an interview with Dr. Mark A. Reinecke, Ph.D., author of the book, “Little Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On – Twenty Lessons for Managing Worry, Anxiety, and Fear” on the Psyche Whisperer Radio Show

This interview is now available in our archives on and you can listen to it right here on this page now.

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Dr. Reinecke, author of “Litte Ways To Keep Calm and Carry On – Twenty Lessons for Managing worry, anxiety, and Fear” is Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and Chief of the Division of Psychology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. His research and clinical interests center on understanding and treating depression and suicide among children and adolescents. He is widely published, and has authored or edited eight books including Cognitive Therapy Across the Lifespan, Comparative Treatments of Depression, Cognitive Therapy with Children and Adolescents, Personality Disorders in Children and Adolescents. 

Dr. Mark Reinecke is a clinical psychologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. His clinical interests include cognitive-behavioral therapy, as well as anxiety, panic and obsessive-compulsive disorders. Dr. Reinecke earned his doctorate from Purdue University, and he is board-certified in clinical psychology.

He is a distinguished fellow and past president of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, a diplomat of the American Board of Professional Psychology, and a fellow of the American Psychological Association and the Association for Psychological Science. He lives in Chicago, IL.


This is a very useful, practical, and non-stigmatizing helpful book about keeping calm versus being in a state of anxiety, worry, and/or fear. The lesson in this book and how they are conveyed in layman’s terms not only normalize the experience of anxiety, worry, and fear, but also give you understandable information about how you can change your way of thinking and your way or perceiving and experiencing your thoughts and life so that you can “Keep Calm and Carry On”. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to more effectively manage the challenges of worry, anxiety, and/or fear. We live in stressful times and worry is increasingly becoming a part of everyday life but it doesn’t have to be as Dr. Mark A Reinecke points out in this book that delivers much-needed information in a way that won’t overwhelm you. – Life and Mental Health Coach,  A.J. Mahari



Table of Contents


About the title


Lesson 1 Anxiety: It Works

Lesson 2 The Big “A”

Lesson 3 We Overestimate Risk When We’re Afraid

Lesson 4 The Future Is Uncertain

Lesson 5 Influence and Control

Lesson 6 You Have the Power to Control Your Anxiety

Lesson 7 Perfect Solutions Don’t Exist

Lesson 8 Sometimes You Can Take Control of Bad Situations—but Sometimes Not

Lesson 9 Recurring, Intrusive Thoughts Are Normal; It’s the Meaning We Attach to Them That Counts

Lesson 10 Dwelling on Problems Impairs Your Ability to Cope

Lesson 11 Worrying Is Highly Overrated

Lesson 12 Don’t Magnify the Importance of Your Physical Sensations

Lesson 13 It’s Time to Relax

Lesson 14 Evaluate Your Thoughts and Make Them Account for Themselves

Lesson 15 Changing Your Thoughts

Lesson 16 When You’re Worried or Anxious, Avoiding Problems Is Among the Worst Things You Can Do

Lesson 17 Social Anxiety: Worrying Too Much About What Others Think

Lesson 18 What’s Really on Your Mind?

Lesson 19 Flow with the Current of Life

Lesson 20 Live Wisely

Epilogue: A Final Note

Resources for Readers




Worrying is a national epidemic, so if you feel anxious and uncertain, you’re not alone. But there’s good news! Thanks to researchers and clinicians, this subject is well understood. Here it is: a quick, compact read that tells you what you need to know to understand anxiety and deal with it constructively. This little book presents the most important findings from empirical research in cognitive behavioral therapy and affective neuroscience in a concise way that’s easy to grasp. It tells you what you need to know and do. Based on recent work in empirically supported anxiety treatments, this easy-to-read guide will help you deal with an emotion that can completely unravel your day. 

Think of this book as a tool that teaches you how to filter your thoughts in ways that will change both how you feel and how you behave. Despite the simplicity of the techniques, they produce powerful results. 

Read each lesson in sequence. Some will resonate with you more than others, but each lesson allows you to build your own customized “anxiety management toolbox.” 

As you read this book, consider taking some time to write your thoughts. Put pen to paper and note how you might apply the various lessons in your life. This is your own personal journey—an opportunity to learn to think, feel, and behave differently. You might think of your notes as a personal journal or a private blog. Keeping a journal is entirely optional, but writing notes and reflecting on new information will not only aid your retention but also help you organize the material in your mind and integrate it with your existing knowledge. It may make for a richer and more useful experience, and it should only take a few minutes. Give it a try. 

Many of the lessons conclude with recommendations for action, under the headings “Now Ask Yourself…” and “What You Need to Do.” For these activities, you’ll need a notebook or at least a few blank sheets of paper. Though brief, these exercises can be quite powerful. Applying daily what you’ve learned can accelerate the process, increasing your likelihood of making progress and maintaining your gains. These are the tools that will help you master your worry, anxiety, and fear. Clinicians often refer to them as “homework,” but this isn’t homework in the academic sense. Rather, it’s the notion that though insight alone—what we learn—may not bring about changes in emotions or behavior, we can introduce change by acting on our knowledge and insight. You’ll want to apply this insight in your day-to-day life, and these exercises are an opportunity to do just that. 

Know this: these approaches work. I’ve seen them work with my clients. More importantly, dozens of controlled studies completed at clinics and research centers around the world support the approaches described in this book. The result? Using them can help you have a better day—one where you are more productive, have a greater sense of control, and manage whatever life throws your way by using solutions rather than letting worry take your brain hostage. A small book is no substitute for professional care, of course. If you are experiencing more severe anxiety, or thoughts of death or suicide, you’ll want to work with an experienced mental health specialist; you’ll find Internet resources at the end of the book. 

Don’t underestimate the power of worry, anxiety, and fear. When appropriate, they can play a positive, even essential, role in your life. However, they can also be disruptive and disabling. The bottom line is that you don’t have to be a victim of these unpleasant emotions. You can control how you live your day and what role anxiety plays, and this little guide will show you how. 

Let’s get on with it.” 

Source: New Harbinger Publications Inc.



“He’s a Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Northwestern University and an expert on anxiety. He’s managed to put all of his expertise into a cute, handy little guidebook for everyday life. Who doesn’t need a little extra help to keep calm in these stress-filled times?


‘No worries.’ It’s the new catch phrase. 

As if. 

Everybody worries. It doesn’t mean you need a shrink. But every once in awhile, when the stress level gets a bit too high, you might wish you had a little coach sitting on your shoulder to give you some tips on how to calm yourself down.” 

Source: Just The Bookstore 


“First featured on a British poster produced during World War II, ‘Keep calm and carry on’ has become the mantra of millions—but exactly how to keep calm remains a difficult question for most of us. 

The next time you are stressed by pressures at work, overwhelmed by life’s challenges, or panicked by problems that seem unsolvable, reach for this book. In Little Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On, you’ll find twenty short yet powerful lessons and anxiety-reducing techniques that will help you move past stressful moments with grace. Each lesson is so simple to learn and practice, you’ll find that this pocket guide is all you really need whenever you need a little help keeping calm. 

A gem of a resource for anyone who struggles with anxiety or worry.”

<—Denise D. Davis, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and assistant director of clinical training at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN – from the New Harbinger Publications Inc. 


Interview with Kristen Moeller – Waiting For Jack – Confessions of a Self Help Junkie

Have you been waiting for something outside of yourself to change your life? Have you tried all the self help books and philosophies around and still haven’t found the change that you want and/or need in your life? Is it time for you to “disrupt the ordinary” as Kristen says? Life Coach, author, and radio show host, A.J. Mahari interviewed Kristen Moeller, Life Coach, Speaker, host of her own radio show “What are you waiting for?” on and author of the book, “Waiting For Jack – Confessions of a Self Help Junkie” on Friday October 1, 2010 at 2pm EST on her blogtalkradio show, The Psyche Whisperer

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In her book, Waiting For Jack, Kristen Moeller turns conventional self-help concepts upside down, asking people to stop eternal searching for outside answers and change their lives from the sideline to front line. (Chicken Soup for the Soul© and The Success Principles) Moeller nearly put her life on hold waiting for his connection to keep her inspiration alive. 

WAITING FOR JACK Confessions of a Self-Help Junkie: How to Stop Waiting and Start Living Your Life

Too many people lose big chapters of their life “waiting for Jack.” No, that’s not meant to represent Mr. Right, but rather a whole slate of perceived answers to everyone’s eternal search to make their lives better, according to renowned life coach and speaker, Kristen Moeller. Part memoir and part how-to guide, this life-affirming narrative turns “personal fix-it” conventions upside down.

The symbolism of waiting for this particular Jack grew from Moeller’s own life experiences, of her constant search for meaningful change – being a seeker and never a finder herself. Following one memorable exchange, where she boldly introduces herself to renowned author and speaker Jack Canfield.

She describes that life-changing moment when it became clear that for her, the figurative “Jack” had come to represent all the desires people wait for — more money, romance, children, retirement, even life’s purpose – and that the truest answers were never going to come from Jack, but rather from inside herself.

Moeller recognized, as she urges readers to do through real life examples, that people need to free themselves from the “self-help treadmill” and unleash their own inner ability to create lives of greater fulfillment.

Laced on the one hand with self-deprecating humor and on the other with respect for individual dignity, Waiting For Jack  is uncommonly appealing. It inspires readers to end the eternal search for something outside themselves, stop the endless WAITING, and finally live life more fully by falling in love with their own humanity.

Moeller’s own life transformation offers real-life instruction in how people caught in a “bottomless quest for self-help” can stop the waiting and hoping for direction from others and move forward to embrace their own life every day in a “fierce disruption of the ordinary.”

In an authentic, intelligent voice, Moeller describes her specific life challenges — years filled with addictions from severe eating disorders and alcohol to evolving as a “self-help junkie”— before creating a successful career as life coach, speaker and author, among other accomplishments.

Her insightful, clear-eyed narrative describes how she came to recognize the decisions and actions that limit who we become. She writes, “Paradoxically, we wait and try to get somewhere at the same time—and that somewhere is anywhere but here, in the moment, in the now. We believe when we get there or have that, we will possess eternal happiness. We look for the magic pill. But what if we’ve already swallowed it? What if we were born with it? What if we are it?”

It is with this motivation, and liberal doses of humor, that Moeller succeeds in motivating readers to think and act for themselves, while offering principles by which they can assess their own lives, avoid perpetual waiting and commit to realizing a life that, as Moeller puts it, “…is as good as we choose it to be at any moment.”

Thematically, Moeller brings the mythical Jack full circle with tongue-in-cheek chapter headings such as Jack of All Trades, Master of None; Jack and the Beanstalk; Jack of Hearts; Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill; Jack in the Box; Jackpot; and even Jackass. Moeller details how effectively the practice of looking within can end the cycle of waiting and create real change, with the added bonus of how much better one can feel about themselves.



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“Kristen Moeller’s ability to tap into one of the great longings of human-kind—that somehow what we’ve got now is never enough—is riveting. I love her courage in tackling this big subject, the intimacy of her voice (she’s been there and we know it!), and her far-reaching wisdom. Thanks, Kristen, for putting our longing into words and helping us navigate our way through it. I’m done ‘waiting’!” – Suzanne Falter-Barns, author of How Much Joy Can You Stand –

“Kristen’s simply and beautifully described self-journey inspires a profound, quiet, deeply central truth about who we are and how to embrace our ‘gift.’ Living up to her mission—‘fiercely disrupting the ordinary’—Kristen takes readers on our own deeply personal journey of realization … that in this very moment, we are more than we could ever hope to need, want, or be in this life. She expresses with exquisite clarity not only the richness that is available to each of us if we only choose to consciously create our own life each day, but offers a clear recipe for achieving extraordinary meaning and fulfillment. Be prepared to feel inspired, engage with your true passions, and find new ways to live your humanity beginning today.” – Gary Goldstein, movie producer (Pretty Woman), author, speaker, and coach –


Kristen first discovered her passion for personal development in 1989 after recovering from an eating disorder and addiction. After years of struggling with low self-esteem, she realized that recovery and joy is possible.

Determined to provide this for others, Kristen immersed herself in the field of personal growth, earning a master’s degree in mental health counseling, volunteering and working in treatment centers while continuing to train and develop herself.

After many years of serving her clients, she discovered she was ready to disrupt the ordinary once again. While reading Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles, she created an ambitious vision for her life. She declared her desire to challenge herself in new ways and make a difference for people on a larger scale.

Early in 2008, Kristen was inspired to write Waiting for Jack. Jumping into action, she began to explore our tendency to wait and what it means to be human.

In June of 2008, Kristen attended Book Expo America with 37,000 other people. Ready to propel her success to the next level, Kristen embraced the principles she shares in her book. Through a series of simple actions and her sincere commitment, she left the expo with a powerful agent, a New York publisher, and the enthusiastic support of Jack Canfield, who agreed to write the foreword to this book. By August, Kristen began her weekly internet radio show, “What Are You Waiting For?” creating a dynamic conversation with expert guests (Joan Borysenko, Bob Doyle, Janet Attwood and Gary Goldstein, to name a few) about disrupting the ordinary and creating the extraordinary.

Kristen utilizes her awe-inspiring energy and motivation to bring awareness to heartfelt causes. She serves as a celebrity ambassador to the National Eating Disorder Association, and through her own non-profit, The Chick-a-go Foundation, provides “pay it forward” scholarships for people to attend transformational educational events.

Her mission for the world is that we “fiercely disrupt our ordinary,” whatever the expression. Most importantly, Kristen wishes that we embrace what it means to be human—we will wait, we will seek, we will forget who we are, and we will remember. She wants us to know it’s all okay.

When she is not actively making a difference in the world, Kristen Moeller thrives in the beauty of Colorado, playing outdoors, riding her horse or just spending time relaxing in her magical, solar powered home. She lives with two large dogs, an ornery cat, and her best friend and husband of fourteen years.

About the Author

Kristen R. Moeller is a highly respected coach, author, speaker and radio show host who holds a master’s degree in counseling and has more than 20 years experience in the field of personal development. She is a founder of the non-profit Chick-a-go Foundation, which provides “pay-it-forward” scholarships for transformational educational training programs reaching people who otherwise cannot afford such opportunities. Ms. Moeller also hosts a weekly internet radio show, “What Are You Waiting For?” and is a celebrity ambassador to the National Eating Disorder Association. She resides in Colorado with her husband in an eco-friendly solar powered house. 

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