Stop Overreacting – Effective Strategies For Calming Your Emotions

On Wednesday September 1, 2010, Life Coach, A.J. Mahari interviewed Dr. Judith Siegel, Ph.D., LCSW, who has a new book out called, Stop Overreacting – Effective Strategies For Calming Your Emotions, on her Psyche Whisperer Radio Show.

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Dr. Siegel’s book offers important skills for coping with intense and overwhelming emotions without overreacting, withdrawing, lashing out or raging. Stop Overreacting – Effective Strategies For Calming Your Emotions, addresses topics such as Learning to Talk about Feelings, Envy, Criticism and Sharing Control will be offered. There will also be quizzes about areas related to overeacting such as splitting and narcissism. A.J. Mahari offers her opinion to perspective show listeners and future readers of Dr. Siegel’s book – “It is an amazing book chalk full of helpful information. Information on how to more effectively manage your emotions in situations in your life whether you have been diagnosed with mental illness or not. Many don’t agree with some of the “brain science” or “brain studies” and how they are represented as solid science in what many consider to be a lack of sound scientific evidence. However, that said, whether you agree or not with the brain/biology forwarded explanations of many of our thoughts and emotions, some of which this author uses as a framework of some of her points, there is much more to this book than a few places of such references and said context for explaining human emotions. Everyone, absolutely everyone can benefit from reading this book. There is so much information that is explained very clearly and is not laden with psychological jargon. I highly recommend this book to and for everyone.”

Dr Siegel’s new book is title Stop Overreacting is now available. Her earlier book What Children Learn From Their Parents Marriage has been published in five languages.

Dr. Judith P. Siegel, Ph.D., LCSW

Dr Siegel has trained social workers and family therapists for the past twenty five years.  Her scholarship draws from Object Relations and Family Systems theories as well as the recent developments in Neurobiology.  She has written books and journal articles for the general public as well as Graduate Professionals and believes that people can find inspiration to improve their relationships from many sources.  

Dr. Siegel is a tenured Associate Professor at the New York University Silver School of Social Work and is Co-Director of the Post Graduate Certificate Program in Child and Family Therapy. She has appeared on Good Morning America and The Today Show, and has spoken to professional audiences and parenting groups throughout the United States.

judithsiegel.com or Stop Overreating

Stop Overreacting – Effective Strategies for Calming Your Emotions, Dr. Judith Siegel, Ph.D., LCSW, presents some of the most effective methods to curb overreactions within the everyday realms of family, relationships and the workplace.

Tips To Curb Emotional Overreactions

Be confident.

Confidence propels us to seek control while self-doubt leads us to defer control to others. On the other hand, when we believe no one is in control we may feel a sense of panic, which can often trigger overreactions.
 
Give your emotions a name.

The process of naming emotions can stimulate the circuits connecting the left and right-brain, which allow us to see situations in terms of both what we know and what we feel.
 

Don’t Detach.

While self-confidence helps us establish control, taking a passive stance and relying on the capabilities of others can instill a feeling of powerlessness. This perceived lack of influence over a situation’s outcome sets the stage for overreaction triggered by rage and/or defeat.
 

Develop mind-body awareness.

Be aware of subtle physical responses that occur during emotional experiences. Focusing on physical sensations can alert you to an impending storm if you know how to read your radar map.
 

Consider the consequences.
 
Searching stored memory for lessons we may have learned activates the higher areas of the brain which we use to be calculative in our actions. Take a stroll down memory lane. The personal values we acquire during childhood play a key role in what can trigger our emotions as adults. By taking time to think about the qualities that you observed and reacted to growing up, you’ll be aware when these values are challenged and why it bothers you.

Practice what you preach: Share.

When we never let others take over we make life more stressful than it needs to be. As a part of a family unit or partnership, difficulty sharing can inspire us to use force or questionable tactics to maintain full control, leading to mistrust and jealousy; both known to trigger overreaction.


Not all emotional reactions are overreactions. Stop Overreacting offers some questions to ask yourself to determine if they are:

What is Overreaction?

  • • Do you regret things you say or do in the heat of emotion?
    • Do you lash out at loved ones?
    • Do you have to apologize to others for your actions or words?
    • Do you feel surprised at your seemingly uncontrollable
    reactions?
    • Do you assume the worst about situations or people?
    • Do you find yourself in conflict without knowing how you got

3 Factors of Overreaction

  • Schemas, or stories we attach to our relationships, ourselves and events which help us to understand the world, but can also lead to biases, distorted understanding, and knee-jerk reactions to situations.
  • Splitting, or the oversimplification of situations as either ‘all good’ or ‘all bad’.
  • Flooding, or a re-experiencing of raw emotion (stored in our memory from initial experiences that encoded the schema) triggered by particularly resonant schemas and resultant splitting.

© Dr. Judith Siegel 2010 – All rights reserved.

You can find Dr. Siegel on the web at: judithsiegel.com
 

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